The very last night, the very last time. The end of one era.

super reflective today.  Feeling a lot of emotion about closing Desire - knowing it's the last time.  What an important show this has been for me- my entire year wrapped up in it's creation.  The shape it gave to my life.  No matter what happens tonight- if there's an ice storm, if no one comes, if someone tries to set fire to their girlfriend on stage (true story - last nights open-mic)- this show changed my life.  For the better.  And that's success.

I think it was the mushrooms

I prayed to the mushrooms. The spores, the mycelium, the fungus.  I asked for their (it's?)  help in spreading the word about Drunken Fucker. Metaphorically, of course. But that was the image I had in my head. This network of information and nourishment, getting the right message to the right person...  (the pro-noia side of going viral?). 

Somehow, it worked.. People came to see a show about alcoholism called Drunken Fucker at the holidays starring a total unknown from Calgary.

AWES baby, as Sean would say (Sean being the Drunken Fucker).

I am so blessed, as I would say.

Thank you from the bottom of my terror-stricken heart. I sat in the audience for every show, just twisting with anxiety about what people thought of the show. Were they disappointed? Wish it were funnier? Sorry they came?

I feel that way about every show I've ever been involved with of course, but somehow this fear was more intense (something to do with my having no control over it I imagine).

And after every single show I'd talk to someone, or hear a story during the post-show discussion, or receive an email, that confirmed my decision to produce Drunken Fucker.

Sean's committment to the piece, to the material, to going to the darkest places in his brain, to spilling his guts, to revealing himself was so total, I felt humbled every night to witness it.

And really grateful that people came to see it.

Thanks mushrooms.  For everything.