A Dream

OHMYGOD, WE'REGOINGTOCANADA!!! How freakin' excited am I? It's a funny story, actually. See, I had been stressing out about the tour, focusing on all the negatives- how much work I have to do before I go, Howard (my primary partner) is going to miss me, my cats are going to hate me, my business is going to suffer, nobody will remember and love me when I get home- that kind of stuff. I was dreading the tour, not excited to get to spend two weeks each in three interesting cities I might never visit otherwise. And then last Wednesday I had a dream so real that I woke up Thursday morning crying and completely discombobulated.

I dreamt I arrived at the theatre on Thursday to find Eleanor, Mary, and Adrienna waiting for me with very serious looks on their faces. They proceeded to tell me that I was no longer in the ensemble and not going to Canada, but that I would have to finish out the three Portland shows. They wouldn't tell me why, in fact would not talk to me at all after announcing I was ousted. I tried to call Howard but could not reach him on the phone. I called two of my dearest friends- on their house phone which I don't even have the number of, just their individual cell phone numbers- only to be told, "we don't like you anymore, Tonya, quit calling us."

It was kind of traumatizing. I mean, I woke up convinced I had lost the things that mean the most to me in this world. Once I calmed down and realized it was just a dream, I of course started pouring over it trying to deduce its meaning. This is what I came up with...

The dream was a reminder from myself of how important it is to me to be a part of this ensemble and to get to go on the tour of Canada. I think it was my way of slowing myself down and re-focusing on the joy and excitement of this grande adventure. Inviting Desire is obviously very important to me, even if my conscious mind sometimes loses sight of that because all the work and time involved can feel very draining. Anyway, it was a nice little kick in the pants, and now I'm really starting to get psyched up. Yes, I have a ton of errands to run and a couple of people I'd really like to see before I leave. But this is going to be SO MUCH FUN! I can't wait to get on the road with my sexy compatriots...

Canada, lock up your sons and daughters! Heh.